Have you ever noticed that the most successful people are also the ones who have the most successful relationships? Sure, there is a period when they are “young” and on the “come up” that they may go through a divorce or break up or two or three or four, but after they become “settled” in to their new found wealth, self-made people try to find someone to share it with. And it shouldn’t come as a surprise, they usually find it. Look at Jay-Z and Beyonce they been going out for the last 5 years or something, all after Jigga finished big pimpin’. But does the reverse hold true as well that unsuccessful people have unsuccessful relationships?
Now success has many different definitions, but I think the best definition of success is someone who makes a living doing something they really enjoy. They don’t have to be getting paid millions, but just the simple fact they enjoy what they are doing and making a living from it constitutes a success to me. Now under this definition of success, unsuccessful people have unsuccessful relationships and here’s why.
I have two friends who were recently dumped by their girlfriends who they had been seeing for over two years. After the break up, they came crying to me, since I’m an apparently an expert in these matters, begging me to explain “why did she dump me?”. This is when I would say, “I don’t know, you tell me?”. To my surprise, both my friends admitted they had cheated on their girlfriends, but their girlfriends didn’t know, hmmm interesting. Aside from that they also told me they argued every day and that they were very possessive of their girlfriends, (i.e. they wouldn’t let them go to clubs with their friends or talk to any of their guy friends).
I was shocked, I thought my friends were modern dudes, who weren’t caught up in being lame jealous macho pigs. I mean, if you are arguing everyday with your girlfriend, you either need to work it out asap or bounce, who wants to live a life arguing every day? Anyway, the discussion was enlightening because it showed me that people really know their faults, but only care to address them when their faults affect THEIR life. Clearly being overly possessive of your girlfriend was affecting her life, clearly the bad karma you created by cheating affected her life, clearly you were a “bad” boyfriend and that is the reason you got dumped. Okay so we have established the unsuccessful relationships, but do we have here unsuccessful people?
Both my friends are having a “tough time” in their careers, one is unemployed and the other just got suspended from work for doing some “illegal” things. There girlfriends, on the other hand, are doing well for themselves and seem generally content with their jobs. I would consider them successful under the above definition. Now this is something I have always known for a long time and have seen with my own eyes, whenever one partner becomes successful (usually the women), the man (whose usually a broke dumb ass to begin with) totally screws up their relationship as my friends above did.
My most famous example of this is whenever a girl goes to medical school and her boyfriend is usually unemployed hustling, I can always guarantee that she will leave that fool, likely for another doctor. I believe this is not only because the girl sees her boyfriend as a failure like most would agree, but because the boyfriend himself deems himself a failure and begins to neglect the relationship causing for it to fall apart. Let me elaborate on this part.
You see when you cheat on your girlfriend. What does that say about you? You don’t give a F. Now it’s obvious you don’t care about your girl, but isn’t also true that you don’t care about yourself? This is because you are neglecting to think about your long term happiness in comparison to the short term fling. I know you may even believe you will end up with your jump-off aka the girl your cheating with, but how many people end up with the person they were cheating with? Come on, if you cheated on her, your going to get cheated on by her, or cheat on her with a next chicken head. But the point is, you don’t believe you deserve having long term happiness, because you continually sabotage your relationships.
Think about the long term my friend, that short term one night fling is not going to make you happy in the long run. In the song “Money, Power,Respect”, Sheek Louch said “Plan for the future, because your going to be older longer than your going to be younger”. Think about that? Your only going to be “young” for maybe 20 years. Since the average life expectancy is 80, your going to be “old” for 60 years! No one wants to be the “old guy” in the club and this is the reason why.
Make yourself a success and find someone who is successful and watch how dramatically your life changes for the better.