REVIEW: Eminem – Relapse

Eminem Relapse album review

Review: 4.2 out of 5

Best Song: “Bagpipes from Baghdad”, “Same Song & Dance”, “Stay Wide Awake”, “Beautiful”, Underground”, “My Mom”, “Insane”

Let me get this disclaimer out the way: I’ve never listened to an Eminem album front to back. Stans attack! I don’t think he’s the greatest rapper of all time as some wack gossip magazines think and for the most part thought dude had no rhythm, a corny voice and barely any songs I could relate with. Real talk, it’s 2010 and I still have no white friends. I mean WTF! I’ve grown my hair into some kind of a mo-hawk, wear tight azz clothes and listen to Coldplay, why can’t I get some white homies? I digress…

Eminem’s lead singles to this album have all been wack from 3 A.M to Crack a Bottle to We Made You, so I was under the impression I would be hitting the “next track” button heavy. But to put it short, I really loved this album and am even tempted to give it a 4.5, but I’ll explain the 4.2 grade later on. Anyway, peep the breakdown suckers!

1. Dr. West (intro)
Wow this is what a big budget studio sounds like? I almost forgot with all these basement made mixtapes coming out. This sounds like a scene from a major motion picture and really peaked my interest from the beginning (as any good story should).

2. 3 A.M. (Produced By Dr. Dre)
I don’t know what’s worse Eminem’s “yelping voice” or Joe Budden’s baritone on Padded Room (no shots). I can’t stand anything about this song, is he supposed to be a serial killer or something? Wack.

3. My Mom (Produced By Dr. Dre)
Although this beat sounds like the retarded version of “What’s the Difference”, this song is what sets Em apart from any rapper. No rappers especially black ones, would ever diss their mom, but no not Eminem. His use of sarcasm and irony throughout this song. display a penchant for song writing we’re not used to hearing in hip hop. Although I can’t relate, because my mom isn’t a drug addict, I can relate in that even my moms “bad habits” are going to rub of on me no matter how much I am aware of them -which seems to be Em’s point here.

4. Insane (Produced By Dr. Dre)
I would usually be turned off after Eminem’s opening line “I was born with a d*ck in my brain, yeah f*cked in the head, my step-father said I sucked in the bed.” But the wittiness of the line and the sure insanity Em spews afterwards is unbelievable. I am blown away, I can’t imagine any other rapper even thinking of any of this. Em’s sharp tongue and vivid descriptions give even Joel Ortiz a run for his money (not that he has very much).

5. Bagpipes from Baghdad (Produced By Dr.Dre)
This is the song that got Nick Cannon all heated as Eminem talks about an encounter with Mariah Carrey. Em’s flow here is mind boggling, his rhyme pattern will give anyone a run and the contrast of intense rhyme skills with humor are simply brilliant. Maybe this guy really is the greatest rapper? Maybe.

Best line: “Nick Cannon you prick, I wise you luck with the f*cking wh*roe/ Every minute there’s a sucker born”.

6. Hello (Produced by Dr. Dre)
Now this song should have been the lead single. It’s poppy, has a corny hook and most of all, Em uses this “cool high school science teacher” voice. Again rhyme patterns, verbal flexibility and breath control are impressive and keeps an otherwise boring Dr.Dre beat interesting. I highly doubt Asher Roth could pull anything close to this off (and I’m a bigger Asher fan than Em fan).

7. Tonya (Skit)
Another major motion picture-esque interlude, trust me this one will send chills down your spine. Well done.

8. Same Song & Dance (Produced by Dr. Dre)
This is my personal fave. Even though Eminem uses the trite “serial killer narrative”, he does it in a metaphorical way to dissect the life of today’s pop divas – literally and symbolically. This song is on the level of Eminem’s “Stan” and Em’s vocabulary and wordplay are incredible here. Em even provides some levity to an otherwise “serious song”, by pronouncing the word “Dance” with what sounds like a German accent.

Best line: “You ain’t never going to break that glass that windshield is too strong for you”.

9. We Made You (Produced by Dr. Dre)
Next.

10. Medicine Ball (Produced by Dr. Dre)
As a workout junkie, I’m still trying to figure out why this song is called “Medicine Ball”, I’ll probably figure it out a year from now -like how those old Wu records we’re. Anyway, Eminem’s yelp voice is too much to take, I think he’s trying to be “controversial and crazy” for no reason other than to be “controversial and crazy”. I mean rapping like Christoper Reeves is not only childish, especially for a 36 year old, but what’s the point? Christopher Reeves died a while back and for most of us, he’s like a hood hero -he’s the real superman!

11. Paul (skit)
Eminem’s manager calls him to tell him the Christopher Reeve business is over the top, just to prove Em “knows this” and is doing it “just because”. I’m not buying this “jedi mind trick”.

12. Stay Wide Awake (Produced by Dr. Dre)
Another serial killer song? I don’t mind it because the Dre production has a cool “creepy” sound and once again Em’s flow is impressive. But I’m starting to think Em is really going to go on a killing spree from all these serial killer inspired songs. The Irish sounding accent, Em puts on here is something else too.

13. Old Time’s Sake (Produced by Dr. Dre)
Since the songs called “Old Time’s Sake” it is pretty obvious they were trying to go for that “classic” Dr. Dre and Eminem collabo -though I wish they had a better beat like on “Forgot about Dre”. This song just sounds boring to me.

14. Must Be The Ganja (Produced by Dr. Dre & Mark Batson)
Em should really leave these kind of songs to Asher Roth. This is like Jay-Z making a song about pimpin’. And what’s with Em talking about serial killers again? I thought it was a “relapse” because he was getting back into rapping from being a junkie for the last few years, not from being the second coming of Ted Bundy.

15. “Mr. Mathers” (skit) (Produced by Dr. Dre)
Not really an interesting skit, I do want to know if the paramedic on this is Dr. Dre for “wikipedia reasons”.

16. “Deja Vu” (Produced by Dr. Dre)
I really don’t have sympathy for someone who makes it big and then becomes a junkie. It’s like “wow you did drugs in front of your kid, am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”. Use your wealth to do good, not destroy yourself.

17. Beautiful (Produced by Dr. Dre)
It’s hard to hate on Eminem when he makes honest and personal songs such as this. There is something about being an artist and actually saying what’s on your mind without diluting it that is so powerful. This is songwriting at its finest and I’ll even admit I got a little glossy eyed listening to this, something I haven’t done since Lupe Fiasco’s “Hip Hop Saved My Life”. Best song on the album, real talk.

18. Crack a Bottle featuring 50 Cent (Produced by Dr. Dre)
Garbage. I still want to know how this made it to Itunes most downloaded list a few months back. Who bought this?

19. Steve Barmen (Skit)
By now the skits have lost their luster and this isn’t funny at all.

20. Underground (Produced by Dr. Dre)
The chorus reminds me of something the rock group Queen would do, so it gets a dope pass. As for Em, he “goes in” channeling the ferociousness of the battle rapper he was in another life. I really feel sorry for Asher now.

The Last Word
I wouldn’t go as far as saying YoRapper’s a “Stan” of Eminem, but I am a fan having gone through my first Em album, I will say this guy still has the skills but much like Jay-Z has lost his edge. Unlike Hov, however, Eminem can still deliver a really good album and spit like his life’s on the line -something I will always respect from anybody. Although this album could have been a 4.5, I have to give it a 4.2 because of the overuse of serial killer references, uninteresting production and the few instances where Em dropped “filler lines”. If you are wondering who the illest white boy in the game is, give Relapse a spin after going through Asher’s Asleep in the Bread Aisle and I will bet the kid from 8 Mile is coming out on top. No matter who you compare Eminem with, he’ll always be a hard act to follow.

Now what do yall super heads think?

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