Review: 2/5
Best Songs: Rack City, Faded, Black Crown
I like most of y’all haters thought Tyga was a hoe. I hadn’t heard any of his shit since December of last year. That is until I got to go free [read: snuck in] to Tyga’s infamous show in Toronto. I was surprised this guy actually had fans in my city and most of them we’re fine ass hoes.
Aside from that, this guy has such a ridiculous amount of energy when he performs he is definitively on one. He was like one of those little kids that’s so hype to spit a freestyle in the ‘hood, but when they realize they suck they stop. Apparently Tyga hasn’t realized it. I kid.
After this experience, especially girls taking their clothes off at the after party, I started to realize I may actually relate with Tyga. We are both degenerates, both pussy chasers and both substance abusers. This guy should be providing the soundtrack to my demonic Saturday nights. So I hit up the googles and got a copy of his last mixtape #BitchImtheShit and I was actually impressed, mind you I had low expectations.
Fastforward and here we have Tyga’s album debut, courtesy of the pirates, and is it what I want? Hit the breakdown.
1. Careless World (Produced by Jess Jackson)
I heard Tyga is half Vietnamese or something so when I heard this, I was like oh he’s going back to his roots. But then the dope sample abruptly stops and Tyga starts annoyingly singing and then Tyga does his best Drake impression. Unfortunately, Tyga is not smart enough to pull of Drake. It’s not as bad as the Drake karaoke Kirko Bangz does, but c’mon sons. You can’t out Drake, Drake. You can’t out Jay-Z, Jay-Z. You can’t out Wu Tang, Wu Tang. You get the point.
I do like that he was molested by his hot babysitter, something I can relate to. Man that girl had racks on racks on racks.
2. Lil Homie (Produced by Pharrell Williams)
I hate Neptune beats that start like this. It sounds like day dream music mixed with marching band drums and horribly misplaced South style snare rolls. Again, Tyga fails for trying to sound smart. It all feels awkward like the dumb kid in class who was asked to read aloud and is stuttering and missing words and if you laugh you’re made out to be the jackass. But you can’t help it and then you’re made to stand outside. Maybe that was just me.
3. Muthafucka Up (featuring Nicki Minaj) (Produced by Jess Jackson)
Yes finally ignorance. This is what Tyga is good for. This is definitively a song I would do acid to, if I did acid. As an aside, I didn’t know Jessie Jackson could make beats, but damn the civil rights leader goes in! Sorry.
4. Echoes Interlude (Produced by Arthur McArthur)
For some reason, Tyga starts talking over an otherwise decent song by some OneRepublic sounding guy. This is something I would sing to my ex-girlfriend, If I still gave a shit about her.
5. Do It All (Produced by Jess Jackson)
I’m pretty sure the bible doesn’t say before you “walk you got to learn to crawl”, which is a line Tyga drops thinking he’s dropping the most insightful and world changing thing a human being has ever said. To make matters worse, the song even gets a little Kanye-ish at the end. I kept thinking I was going to hear, “I’m in living in the 21st century doing something mean to it”.
6. I’m Gone (featuring Big Sean) (Produced by Boi-1da)
When your chasing Drake’s sound and want to do it right, you not only recruit Big Sean but you also hire Drake’s go-to-producer Boi-1da for the robbery.
7. For the Fame (featuring wife beater, Wynter Gordon) (Produced by Jess Jackson)
Save your self. Imagine all the worst ideas a rapper can make when making a pop rap song in 2012 and this has all of them (and Chris Brown!)
8. Birdman Interlude (Produced by Arthur McArthur)
A YMCMB album isn’t complete without Baby’s signature shit talking interlude. This doesn’t live up to his previous hand rubbing interludes he’s done for Wayne, but I still get a kick out of them. Birdman’s kinda of like those Chuck Norris memes that we’re all the rage years back, always good fun.
9. Potty Mouth (featuring Busta Rhymes) (Produced by Key Wane, Jess Jackson)
Since Busta sold his soul to Birdbrain as part of his contract he has to do songs with all of Young Money’s signature artists. Expect Busta Buss on the next Lil’ Chuckee song that doesn’t do anything but prove Busta can rap really fast about nothing I care about.
10. Faded (featuring Lil Wayne) (Produced by Donte “Dnyce” Blacksher)
Yes finally that Tyga sound. Currently, my favorite song because it polishes up Tyga’s sound from #BitchImtheShit and Lil Wayne, aside from being gay, is just too sick to deny.
11. Rack City (Produced by DJ Mustard)
When a guy named Dj Mustard produces your biggest song, I think you should stay in a certain lane. And that lane is filled with salty sweating strippers whose breasts feel like nerf balls. Ohhhh I just recalled a bad experience.
Hundits. Hundits. Throwing hundits. Hundits. Hundits.
12. Black Crowns (Produced by David “D.A.” Doman, Jess Jackson)
Yes this is another one of those Drake spin-off shows. But the chorus courtesy of an unknown Cameron Forbes and Tyga not getting too intellectual make for a good few minutes. I cringed a little when Tyga’s mom showed up, I couldn’t help but think (a) Tyga’s mom sounds kinda hot and (b) Has she heard Tyga’s music? His mom is going off like he’s K’naan. Momma Tyga you’ve seen the Rack City video right?
13. Celebration (featuring T-Pain) (Produced by David “D.A.” Doman, Jess Jackson)
This song is so bad, so horribly written, produced and directed that it doesn’t warrant even me thinking of something witty to say about it. But to give you an idea, Tyga at one point says, “Young star, Ringo”. I’m sure your average 15 year old will even know what that means.
14. Far Away (featuring Chris Richardson)(Produced by Jess Jackson)
This was Tyga’s first “radio” single from the album and survives mostly from a great chorus from Chris Richardson.
15. Mystic AKA Mado Kara Mieru Interlude (Produced by Arthur McArthur, C. Tin)
Tyga’s connection with his pan-Asian roots continues.
16. This is Like (featuring Robin Thicke) (Produced by David “D.A.” Doman)
Holy “Best I Ever Had” batman. Just sing “You the best I ever had, best I ever had, best I ever had” and it works!
17. King & Queens (featuring Nas, Wale) (Produced by Arthur McArthur)
This isn’t as bland as it looks on paper, it’s even more. I’m not even surprised Nasir jumped on this, I expect he’ll be on the new Lil Chuckee record when he gives Birdbrain his soul. He does murder it though.
18. Let It Show (featuring J. Cole) (Produced by Cool & Dre)
This is probably the only song Tyga lets his mom listen to even though he blatantly paints her as materialistic bitch for only accepting him after he bought her a some Jimmy Choos’ and a sports coupe. Not even sure what J. Cole is doing here but the way this album is wrapping up I’m sure the goal is to put listeners to sleep.
19. Love Game (Produced by Jess Jackson)
Ahh did Tyga have to have “All of the Lights” playing in the background when he was recording this?
20. Lay You Down” (featuring Lil Wayne) (Produced by David “D.A.” Doman)
God this album is getting long but things pick up when Wayne picks up the guitar here. While the chorus makes me cringe, Tyga’s attempt to connect with LA’s mean streets isn’t a complete failure. It’s pretty easy though, all you have to do is listen to The Game or Rick Ross for a bit and a kid from Denmark will be able to push gripping street narratives.
21. Light Dreams (featuring Marsha Ambrosius) (Produced by Jess Jackson)
Tyga had me, until he said “I don’t shop online, those are all gimmicks”. If he’s talking about Groupon, yes that is gimmicky, but Amazon and Zappos have amazing customer service.
What I Would Tell Tyga
This album isn’t good by any measure. It’s too long. It’s too boring. And your too dumb to pull off anything thought provoking, which seems to be your aim. “Stick to what you’re good at”. Yes you may want to innovate and be different, but you do not have the taste to know what is good musical innovation and what isn’t. You need to listen to a lot more music bro. Aside from a few tracks where you actually are yourself, you seem to be stuck in a 90’s mindset where you pander to “hip hop critics”. This may sound insanely ironic, but fuck the critics. You said “Bitch I’m the shit”, now make songs like you are.
